A Theophany of Becoming
All you who have ears to hear, let them hear! If you have eyes to see, behold! I have seen wonders that are beyond telling; I have heard of mysteries that set the foundations of the world ablaze. I will speak of them now in words that burn, but flicker like candlelight. I am not ashamed to praise Him in the great congregation. (The poor shall eat and be satisfied, and those who seek the Lord shall praise Him.) (Little Benjamin is at the head, leading the throngs of the princes of Judah!)
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.
Friends, beloved of God, and heirs with me of his inestimable, ineffable riches: can you fathom the depths of this truth? Its height? Its length? Its width? Its breadth? The Creator of all things, Source of the source of galaxies, the Ancient of Days and the Lord of Time; the one whose Almighty “BE” resonates still in the quivering strings that vibrate at the hidden heart of existence, seeks to dwell within us! To penetrate the hidden depths of our heart! To be to us, not an unknown god or a distant deity; not a cold judge or an anonymous force, but as Love Itself Love Incarnate, reshaping us from within to be a forge of pure passion!
I have tasted of this mystery, I tell you. I have watched its honeyed dewdrops swell with heaviness, and drip down with the swirling lightsome dark of this deep mystery, and I have tasted, the rich fruit of this Strange Tree; the bursting summer-ripe ambrosia of the well=blossomed celestial mysteries. Sweeter than honey it is, to be sure; and finer than gold, yea, than much fine gold. It is more intoxicating than wine, a fire that burns but does not consume, a light that pierces the deepest darkness of the hiddenmost chambers of our hearts.
Can you imagine, being in that boat on the stormy sea, straining with the oars against the wind and waves? The wind howls, the waves crash, and fear grips your heart. Then, through the mist and spray, a figure approaches: a light above the waters. Is it a ghost? A demon? No! It is the Lord Himself, walking on the waters of chaos, proclaiming, “Take heart! I AM!” Oh, the astonishment! The terror and the joy! In that moment, we realize that the One who commands the wind and the waves seeks to enter the fragile vessel of our hearts. But ah! It tears open a deeper terror still. How can the finite contain the infinite? How much less this sorry and sinstained vessel the fire of his absolute purity? Yet still he comes … but we are afraid (we did not understand about the loaves, and our hearts were hardened).
I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
What manner of calling is this! That we should be filled – FILLED! – filled with the fullness of God! The FULLNESS!! Not a portion, not a taste, but the very essence of Divine Love itself; the infinite outpouring, pouring out into the infinite void of our boundless brokenness.
Groaning, I have felt the mantle of this calling fall upon my shoulders. I was a fool to press in. Three times did my father say, “Turn back!” but I pressed on. I knew where I was going, and I did not know. And the flames and the whirlwind and the strange hoofbeats of metaphysical horses; the transfiguration that makes a man an angel, and I cried out (yet not me, but this voice torn out of me by the strange and terrible ecstasy of the act of witnessing it itself) “My father! My father! The chariots of Israel and its horsemen! The chariots of Israel and its horsemen!” And falling to my knees weeping in holy terror and ecstatic joy, I felt my old self torn away like a garment (and I was tearing it myself, but I did not know what I was doing) while his mantle fluttered downward, and landed soft and heavy on my shoulders, this strange new identity forged in the crucible of Divine Love.
This mantle. This strange, story-woven, many-colored new self. It is wet with the dew of heaven and steaming from its contact with the Holy Fire. It echoes celestial songs, sung by fire-beings and angel tongues. And rolling it, into a tool of my possession (though I am myself possessed) I strike at the waters with it, and find them cleaving open … (the waters of reality themselves, parting open, paring the veil between the seen and unseen, heaven and earth, things temporal and things eternal).
What lies beyond? What secret inhabits this most secret place? What unutterable words are spoken there? What reality-shaping words of pure fire and lightening, the unbearable birthing heat of the primordial darkness? My friends, it is a realm of such beauty and terror, such wonder and awe, that all human words falter and fail. Every symbol becomes molten, all is a riot of absolute being (even as it Is Not); every atom sings with the music of creation, every moment is pregnant with the possibility of transfiguration. And here, in the midst of it, in the deepest, most precious, most inscrutable bowles of all; beyond the third heaven, beyond the seventh heaven; the Koh-i-Noor atop of the Throne of Glory itself: here is the deepest, most terrible, most real, most unimaginable, most sacred truth:
I am beloved. You are beloved. We are ALL beloved. We are loved with a love so vast, so profound, it shapes and reshapes the very fabric of our being.
In all the noisy heavens, among the choirs of angels, rank upon rank, who cannot keep their voices quiet, and all the thunderous praises of creation, the voice of God Himself: “I rejoice over you with gladness. I will quiet you by my love. I exalt over you with loud singing.”
It is no mere sentiment. It is no fleeting emotion. This love is the fundamental force of the universe, the power that spins galaxies and splits atoms. And with its secret and relentless passion, it makes and remakes us in its image.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Can you feel it, dear ones? The stirring in your soul, the quickening in your spirit? It is the touch of the Divine, calling you to the endless furnace of becoming, a becoming that will never end. We are not static creatures, frozen in time and space. Our stories are not once written, but unfolding yet. We are dynamic, ever-evolving expressions of God’s creative love.
Let us embrace this holy becoming! Let us step out of the boat of our comfortable certainties onto the wild waters of faith. Let us allow the Divine Fire to consume all that is false within us, leaving only the pure gold of our deep and endless belovedness. It is here, in this becoming – in this endless unfolding of our God’s Love, in us, and for us, and through us – here we find our truest purpose, our deepest joy, our purest love – love unfolding, ever unfolding into love – and we, living, breathing icons of this selfsame everoutpouring Divine Love, portals through which heaven touches earth, and mountains melt like wax, and all reality smokes.
Oh, the mystery!
Oh, the wonder!
Oh, the astonishing, breathtaking, heart-stopping beauty of it all!
Beloved, take heart. The I AM is here, walking on the waters of our little chaoses, calling us deeper into depths of love we have scarcely even begun to imagine. Dare we answer? Dare we become?
A mantle is falling. The waters are parting. A new world beckons.
Let us step out. Let us become. For love’s sake, become!
